Tell Them What They Want to Hear

Years ago my Auntie Johanna gave me the following advice, “Honey do not tell them the truth; just tell them what they want to hear!” She was referring to parents and family members but I find this advice works in most situations.  It is now my mantra and when possible I follow it at all times.

Truth was my natural response when asked for my opinion. I was not the most diplomatic of souls but my veracity was never questioned. I fought to prove my position, citing anecdotal and documented evidence to support my opinion. I stood up for my right to have an alternative view from the norm. (Honestly, when all agree conflict rarely occurs.)  Well I have changed. The responsible party is the OSU football program.

Ohio State Football obsesses my hometown, Columbus, Ohio. The city does not have professional football. OSU has long filled this need.   I am rather surprised the students are still allowed to attend the games. The long list of alumni allotted football tickets and the  prime seats distributed to “ friends “of the University leave barely room for the students to cram into the end zone.( Well, the students do not donate anywhere as much as the alumni and “friends” who get tickets.) Tailgating starts early and television coverage begins midweek.  Scarlet and grey permeates every aspect of life in Columbus from late summer until New Years.  Go Bucks is an acceptable goodbye for much of the community and most social events revolve around football.

Promise me to keep this between us, but I am not an OSU football fan. I do not remember watching OSU football as a child nor attending parties focused on the game. I have never had an extensive scarlet and grey wardrobe. My family did not tailgate, attend games or cheer for OSU. I somehow escaped the OSU football frenzy. The only impact OSU football had on my early life was annoyance at the amount of football coverage on television news and in the paper.

Notre Dame was my grandfather’s alma mater and if the game was televised, the ND game was watched. I cheered for Old Notre Dame during my educational years at St. Mary’s College and even watched some games after I graduated.  When I tried to network with other Columbus ND/St. Mary’s alumni my experiences were negative. The years passed, so did my interest in ND football. I am not a big sports fan but I attended a few of my brother’s high school and college football games.  I cheered for them to not get hurt.  On Saturday afternoons I shopped, read or slept. This golden time was not to last.

National news stories, published yearly, tell of the obnoxious OSU fan culture. Imagine living in it on a daily basis. I became an OSU anti fan. I would tell people I was not a football fan if asked, but secretly I began cheering for OSU’s opponents. I rarely watched the game but when I did I cheered when the other team scored. I reveled in each bad play. An OSU loss was punishment for the communities’ unending OSU fanaticism.

My views became known. I am still not sure how it happened, or when I slipped up, but my hatred for OSU football became common knowledge. In this town, you have to be an OSU fan, it is required. The abuse began. At first I tried to argue my position, pointing out I was raised a ND fan. The abuse continued .I became enraged at the Nazi-like demand of my community that we all adore OSU football. I fought for my right to be an anti fan and refused to participate in Buckeye frenzy. The abuse became overt and ugly. I began to cave.

                I began to say “Go Bucks” on football weekends. I even wore scarlet and grey. Life became calmer. I watched a few games hoping my companions did not notice my smirk when OSU lost.  I even began to watch the games because it seemed OSU did fail when I watched. I put this down to bad karma. My compliance with Columbus’ cultural requirements was still superficial, in my mind I was holding on to my own beliefs. I knew deep in my heart that my spirit had been broken. My mere presence was supporting the OSU culture. Still only I knew the team spirit seemed to fall apart when I watched. It was a broken spirit's revenge.

            Eventually my smirks and  bad karma was noticed. I was run out of any room where I could view the team in action. I smiled, left saying “Go Bucks” as I walked out the door. I went back to sleeping or shopping during games.

Forced participation may change overt behavior but sometimes what you get is a secret enemy. I now tell OSU fans what they want to hear, but I do not really cheer for their team, I merely pretend to be a fan. This did not happen overnight. It took years of exposure to Ohio State mania and abusive OSU fans to drain the fight from my spirit. This fight resulted in much more than a change in overt behavior concerning OSU football. It changed my mantra.

Once I succumbed to societal pressure concerning football, I began to use my auntie’s advice in other situations.  My opinions are no longer honestly given.  I merely mouth the words the listener needs to hear.  Insight, analysis and truth have given way to feeding needy egos with rigid belief systems. Life is much easier. Someone else will need to speak truthfully, I no longer will.

If you are in Columbus, cheer loudly for OSU. Wear scarlet and grey. Remember, when in Rome do as the Roman’s do. In Columbus there is only one opinion anyone really wants to hear, let them hear it. Thanks auntie.  Go Bucks.